The following references are from:
by Robert B. Cialdini ».
I’ve often mused that to be a good salsa gigolo is to be a good salesman. At least when it comes to rejection. How to avoid rejection, how to overcome rejection, and yes, how to deal with rejection. With time, a salsa gigolo will eventually develop a product/ service that salseras actually want, i.e. salsa skill. But it never hurts to also hone one’s sales skills, along with one’s salsa skills.
… “The general rule says that a person who acts in a certain way toward us is entitled to a similar return action. We have already seen that one consequence of the rule is an obligation to repay favors we have received. Another consequence of the rule, however, is an obligation to make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us.” …
… “I witnessed another form of the rejection-then-retreat technique in my investigations of door-to-door sales operations. These organizations used a less engineered, more opportunistic version of the tactic. Of course, the most important goal for a door-to-door salesperson is to make the sale. However, the training programs of each of the companies I investigated emphasized that a second important goal was to obtain from prospects the names of referrals — friends, relatives, or neighbors on whom we could call. For a variety of reasons we will discuss in Chapter 5, the percentage of successful door-to-door sales increases impressively when the sales operator is able to mention the name of a familiar person who “recommended” the sales visit.” …
Chapter 2: Reciprocation: The Old Give and Take ... and Take, Pgs. 36-37, 41
Approach the group and ask the closest novice salsera to dance. More often than not, she will say no. Immediately move to stand/ sit/ crouch beside her, so that you are facing in the same direction, and ask her in a conspiratorial way, who you should then ask to dance. She will then refer you to another friend in the group, either by pointing, or by calling her friend’s name in a loud voice, and because all the other girlfriends are watching and relieved that they were not chosen, they will merrily egg this chosen novice onto the dancefloor.
The reason this technique works, is because when you ask “who you should then ask”, you are making a concession. Instead of asking for a dance, you are now only asking for a referral. The novice salsera will feel compelled to repay your concession, by referring you to one of her girlfriends. Once you have pleasantly surprised the girlfriend with your salsa skill, she will tell all her girlfriends how she was pleasantly surprised, and your subsequent returns to this group will be more welcome. And that first novice salsera will likely say yes, when you ask her again.
I wonder what other kinds of concession a salsa gigolo could ask for, if a salsera says no to a dance. “Can I have a sip of your drink?” “Can I have a hug?” “Can I get my back scratched?” Something to try.
“The Windmills of Your Mind”, version by All Angels ».
Version performed by Alison Moyet ».
