19 Aug

I didn’t go out yesterday, because I think I caught a bit of a sore throat from Friday.  It’s already cool enough here for a light sweater or jacket, at night.  My throat is better today, and I’m tempted to go out.  I know I shouldn’t, because I have work demands early this week, and I need to be healthy.  Still, it is just so tempting.

What is it that I seek, from the dance floor, and why does it tempt me so?  The easy answer is “connection”.  But what is connection?  For me, it is more than just sexual chemistry, but that is a necessary part of connection.  It is more than just skill, but again, some skill is needed.  I reflect on this question, and although I want to give a safe, politically correct answer, I think, for me, a big part of connection is a woman’s willingness to submit to my lead.

Am I saying connection = submission?  I can take the safe way out, and say that both the lead submits to the follow, and the follow submits to the lead.  That is safe.  Instead, I’ll just focus on my own selfish perception of connection, and submission.  When I dance with a woman, I want her to submit to me.  I want her to follow my lead, to be where I want her to be at any moment, to follow me in my experimentations.  I also want to see it in her eyes, that she will give herself to me, that she will love me for this dance.

There are many styles and moves and patterns to salsa, and I have benefited from many different instructors here in TO.  One has shown me the first basic steps, in Casino, I think.  One has shown me bachata.  A couple have shown me their versions of L.A. style.  A few have tried to show me On2 – I am starting to get the hang of that timing :).  Along the path of learning “what is salsa”, I have started to question for myself, “what is salsa to me?”.  There is much to see and learn:  techniques, moves, patterns, music, styles, emotions.  I am learning that a lot of this is very personal.  So now, the question of “how is salsa danced?”, is becoming, “how do I want to dance salsa?”.

How does one go about finding an instructor to answer the question, “how do I want to dance salsa?”  I think, now, for me, this question is to be answered on the dance floor, little by little, with each and every dance.  Some dances show me what I like.  Some show me what I don’t like.  For some dances, I am there to help a woman try to answer this same question for herself.  For some dances, I am fortunate to have a woman be there for me, to submit to my needs and desires.

I imagine somewhere, out there, there is “the One” dancer for me, for whom I am “the One” dancer for her.  The search will continue another day.


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