On Cleavage and Claveage.

15 Jul

This post is going to be on one of my favourite subjects: décolletage.

So I was down at the beach last week, walking the boardwalk, and what did I see? I spied with my little eyes, a pretty woman without bikini top. She was talking into a microphone and looking into a camera, but for some reason, I felt like everyone was looking at me. Isn’t that strange? This woman’s beautiful bare breasts made me feel self-conscious.

It must be some male self-preservation instinct kicking-in, like a 6th sense that just knows, in some way, that I might get busted for looking … busted by all the bikini-topped women on the beach, who might judge me. Even though, in Ontario, it’s perfectly legal for a woman to be topless on the beach, it’s still not safe for a man to be caught looking.

In salsa clubs, a salsera’s décolletage is like planetary magnetism. It takes amazing willpower for a salsa gigolo to not look. He might not look directly, but you can bet money that 99% of his peripheral vision is doing its best to look. The funny thing is, a salsera probably knows when a salsa gigolo is trying to not look, so you end-up with this elaborate cover-up: A salsa gigolo pretends his peripheral vision is not making him dizzy, and a salsera pretends that the salsa gigolo is not pretending. On top of that, she pretends that she’s not pretending.

Heck, I think salseras sometimes go out of their way to deliberately display their décolletage. Recently, I was sitting, taking a break, and lo and behold, a salsera took a seat right below me. I looked, and then looked way. It was nice. I didn’t get busted.

So, back to the boardwalk. I looked appreciatively at the woman’s beautiful breasts, then looked away, and pretended my peripheral vision was not making me dizzy. Any bikini-topped woman, who saw me look and then look away, would not bust me, because she would know I was looking at the woman’s breasts in a socially-correct way, by pretending to not be looking with my peripheral vision.

But guys, you know and I know, I was looking. And waiting. Waiting for the day Ontario passes a law making it ok for guys to look at a woman’s bare breasts in public.

When that day happens, maybe then it will be ok,
be ok to not look away, from a salsera’s décolletage.


One Response to “On Cleavage and Claveage.”


  1. What Happy Salsa Gigolos Know. « Salsa Gigolo in TO - July 12, 2009

    […] it is, appreciate the music, how good it is. If I fear the cleavage, I should appreciate the claveage ». One thing I’ve noted is that feeling appreciation may not block feeling sadness. However, […]

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