Forbidden Salsera.

17 Sep

Forbidden salsera are the forbidden fruit in this garden of salsa. Sometimes lovely to behold, sometimes lovely to hold. Her taste, I am told, is worth original sin ». Here is a list of forbidden salsera, in decreasing degree of forbiddance:

Salsera with husband:
Recently, in a club, I asked a salsera to dance. She declined, but offered me her friend, which was nice of her. Her friend was a complete beginner, but that’s ok, because as a salsa gigolo, I love dancing with novice salseras. The bachata gods must have been smiling, because after half a salsa, came on a bachata. The only thing better than initiating a novice to salsa, is initiating her to bachata, unless … My salsa gigolosenses were tingling, and I quickly asked if she had a boyfriend. She was married. And yes, that was her husband. What to do? Finished the dance, walked her to her husband, gave husband a nod of thanks, then went off looking for less dangerous fruit. There comes a time in every salsa dance relationship, when a salsa gigolo should ask, “Are you married?”

Salsera almost with husband:
For me, there is no fruit more tempting than a salsera at her stagette party. You know she’s there for a good time, maybe her last good time in a long time, and you know that most of the girlfriends in her group are likely to be complete beginners. So many fruit. So little time. Not enough salsa gigolo to go around. It’s not uncommon for the salsera-bride-to-be, to be sitting in the least accessible seat. Don’t worry, start from the outside and work your way in. The first girlfriend you ask will almost always say no, but if you ask her who you should then ask, almost always she will point someone out in her group, and quite possibly the salsera-bride-to-be. Her girlfriends will join in the finger-pointing, and before she can say “I do”, she is taking your hand, and on her way to the dancefloor. If you’re lucky, she’s wearing a candy necklace. You know what to do.

Salsera with boyfriend:
When a salsa gigolo and salsera start dating, I tend to stay away. There are so many other salsera in the garden that it is a waste of my salsa gigolomojo to pluck some other salsa gigolo’s fruit. Sometimes, though, the difference in salsa skill between boyfriend and girlfriend is very large. In this case, I feel almost obliged to step-in. If the boyfriend’s skill is greater, he will not likely be getting his salsa fix, and you can see it in his wandering eyes. To help a fellow salsa gigolo out, I may ask to dance with his girlfriend, to give him a chance to escape for a song or two. If the girlfriend’s skill is greater, she will often be seen sitting beside her boyfriend, looking wistfully at the dancefloor. I may, again, ask the boyfriend to dance with his girlfriend, and then dance with her in front of him. It will be a very chaste dance, rated PG-13. This will help his girlfriend get some salsa fix, and not resent sitting, and maybe even inspire boyfriend to get up out of his seat and dance some more basic, dammit! My perfect dance partner would be happy to dance a close basic with me all night.

Salsera with children:
I will usually withdraw my salsa gigolomojo when a salsera shows me pictures of her children. Especially if she is single, or single again. Sometimes I risk taking too much from a salsera, but never want to risk taking too much from a salsera who has children. I may playfully offer some casual salsa gigolomojo, if that’s all that she’s interested in, but I would never want to play games with a salsera’s feelings. The one exception is if a salsera brings her adult daughter or niece to a club or social. Then it’s game on. There is something very provocative about dancing with a salsera, when her daughter or niece is watching. Exhibitionism to the extreme. Almost like dancing with mother and daughter, or aunt and niece at the same time. Taboo for two, please. Dancing with the daughter or niece is not as thrilling, because with the mother or aunt watching, one need keep it PG-13. Aww, who am I kidding? If she’s an adult, game on.

Salsera with innocence:
Sometimes I like to take candy from a salsera. If it’s on a necklace, all the sweeter. But I don’t usually like to take a salsera’s milk money. A novice salsera can sometimes be too innocent for salsa, offering too much to the first salsa gigolo who asks her to grindchata. When I sense this, I have learned to withdraw, and take a wait-and-see approach. I will wait for another day, and if I see her again at the club or social, I will know then that her salsa innocence hasn’t gotten the best of her. She hasn’t succumbed to the initial onslaught of salsa gigolos hungry for novice salsera. Really, it can be a feeding frenzy at times, salsa gigolos on the prowl for fresh meet salsera.

Salsera with a twist:
Sometimes a salsera gets drunk. It may make for some interesting grindchata, but for me, salsera is best served sober.

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9 Responses to “Forbidden Salsera.”

  1. simon September 27, 2008 at 7:55 am #

    you sound like a complete tool. The kind of creep which gives salsa a bad name! Dick

  2. cornstalk August 31, 2015 at 6:46 pm #

    “very chaste dance, rated PG-13” haha! This gave me a laugh😁

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