She’s Just Not That Into Your Salsa.

10 Apr

Inspired by this book,
He's Just Not That Into You:  The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt » and Liz Tuccillo ».

1. She’s Just Not That Into Your Salsa If She’s Not Asking You To Dance

Dear Salsa Gigolo,

I’m so disappointed. I’ve been dancing with this salsera on-and-off for about two years. Whenever we dance, she always appears to have a good time. We’ve even exchanged phone numbers, and we e-mail each other every week about salsa parties and socials. She is always giving me nice smiles and saying how much she enjoys dancing with me. Lately, however, I’ve come to realize that I’m always the one who is asking her to dance. She might look my way and give me a wave, or come up to me and say hello and give me a hug, or stand around me for what seems like eternity, but she has never once asked me to dance. Should I just be satisfied with this arrangement, and continue to ask her to dance?

Always Asking


Dear Always Asking,

Two years is two years, and any way you cut it, that’s a long time to be doing all the asking. Sure, it might be customary where you’re from for the man to ask the woman to dance, but it certainly isn’t the only way that a man and woman end up on the dancefloor. Believe it or not, women do ask men to dance, and this happens all the time. Unfortunately, just not for you. If you are satisfied with never having the theoretical opportunity of saying ‘no’ (Do men ever say no?), then go right ahead, and continue to do all the asking. But if you ever want to experience that ego-rush of having a salsera ask you to dance, you have to learn to play it cool. Hold back next time, and see what happens. At first, your salsera friend might be all confused, and possibly even hurt that you haven’t asked her to dance. She might even think that something is the matter. Whatever you do, don’t ask her to dance. When it becomes uncomfortable enough for her, she will eventually break-down and ask you to dance. And what if she doesn’t? Then you’ll know that she’s just not that into your salsa.


2. She’s Just Not That Into Your Salsa If She’s Not Calling You

Dear Salsa Gigolo,

I recently started dancing with a very nice salsera. She’s kinda’ cute, and sorta’ sexy, and she’s the perfect height for me. What’s more, she’s always able to follow anything I lead, and makes me look real good on the dancefloor. Really, I couldn’t ask for anything more in a dance partner, so I gave her my number and told her to give me a call. Well, it’s been two weeks now, and she hasn’t called. Just to be safe, I’ve given my number to a couple other salsera cuties. Still, no calls. I tried calling myself from a payphone down the street, just to make sure my phone was working. As far as I can tell, there’s nothing wrong with my phone, or my answering machine. Should I give my number to this salsera again? Afterall, I might have written down my number wrong, and she might have been too embarrassed to ask me about it. What do you think?

Call Waiting


Dear Call Waiting,

The only waiting I’d do is for you to wake up to reality. While I commend you for giving out your number to just the cute salseras, it must have dawned on you by now that the chances of writing your own number down wrong, more than once, is probably very slim. I hope. Next time you give a salsera your number, have her store it on her cell phone, then have her dial you, so you can at least have her number too, although this is kind of weak. If you really want to talk to her on the phone, if that’s your thing, then why not just ask her for her number. Make sure you get her e-mail address too, just in case she tries to change her number. Really, though, if you’ve given a salsera your number, and she isn’t calling you constantly to remind you how much fun she has dancing with you, and how she can’t wait to dance with you again, then she’s just not that into your salsa.


3. She’s Just Not That Into Your Salsa If She’s Not Dancing With You

Dear Salsa Gigolo,

I’m really, really in love. I want to say that first. I’ve danced with this really hot salsera, and man, can she move. Watching her move, I knew she was way out of my league, but I’m telling you, it’s the thought of dancing with salseras like her that got me to learn salsa in the first place. One day, I bundled up my courage and went-up to her and asked her to dance, and wouldn’t you know it, she said yes! I couldn’t believe it. It was a dream come true. That dance was the best dance of my life, even though I messed it up a little. The next time I saw her, I asked her for another dance, and she said yes again! This time, I accidently spun her into another couple, but you see, she was such a good spinner and I didn’t know how to stop her from spinning. She was a good sport about it. Well, the next time I saw her, I asked her for another dance, but she said she was taking a break. That’s cool. I didn’t see her again that night, I don’t know where she went. She must have been really tired and gone home. The next time I saw her, she was at the edge of the dance floor, moving to the music. I knew this was a good sign, so I immediately asked her for a dance, but she said she was resting, so I gave her a smile, and promised to look for her again later in the night. Just as I was turning away, some guy came up to her and took her by the hand, and pulled her onto the dancefloor. What a jerk. I’m sure he must have seen me ask already. I was also a little ticked at that salsera, because she sure didn’t look like she needed a rest. I waited for her at the edge of the dancefloor for what must have been 5 salsas, a merengue, and a bachata, but she was still dancing. Wow, is she hot. I think she noticed me watching her, because she smiled a little when she looked at me. I was so tempted to cut-in on that guy, and ask her to dance the next bachata. Or do one of those cool steal-the-salsera moves that I’ve seen on YouTube. So what’s the best way to cut-in on a guy, in this kind of situation, when he is bogarting a salsera?



Dear Humphrey,

Let’s talk about this hot salsera, who is way out of your league. I know this salsera. Every salsa gigolo knows this salsera. This salsera is the reason why any salsa gigolo learns to dance salsa. And yes, this salsera makes all the effort worthwhile. If it were not for this salsera, you would have quit long ago, admit it. What’s more, not only is this salsera hot, but she also has a heart, since she is willing to dance with someone who is clearly not at her level. Not once, but twice. It’s great that you’ve scored a couple of dances with her, but chances are, you’ve blown any chance of redeeming yourself with her, at least in the short-run. Face it, for now at least, she’s just not that into your salsa. Maybe later, after she’s seen you improve, she’ll start to look your way again. In the meantime, keep those memories safe and warm, and keep practicing those moves of yours. Dance with some beginners. Keep you ego in check. Remember, salsa is not a competition, and it’s not a race. Enjoy the journey that you’re on. One day, you’ll be the one who’s doing all the bogarting.



4 Responses to “She’s Just Not That Into Your Salsa.”

  1. Swati July 19, 2009 at 7:06 am #

    Its Fun reading this post 🙂

  2. salsagigolo July 19, 2009 at 9:59 am #

    I am here to please :).

  3. Kyo Ong June 9, 2013 at 3:19 am #

    Haha this was very entertaining.. and I can totally relate to those kinds of situations (i’m not the guy in question, of course.. but ladies relate their experiences). Found your blog from a google pic that I was searching for on salsa addiction!

    Thanks for the writing and great stuff! I’m also a salsa blogger. 🙂

  4. Kyo Ong June 9, 2013 at 3:21 am #

    Reblogged this on kyoong80 and commented:
    LOL a fellow salsa blogger’s post. Hilarious! I should “steal” this idea lol.

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