Decoding Salsa Love.

18 Dec

The following references are from:

by Andrew Trees ».

This book was an easy read, and follows a “Blink”-like » formula for presenting other people’s research, including John Gottman’s », except there wasn’t a central thesis to this book, or if there was, I missed it.

Chapter 1: The Dating Animal, Pages 56:
“… studies have revealed that even in the wild there is a great deal more cheating going on than anyone had imagined. Very few mammals are monogamous …”

Chapter 1: The Dating Animal, Pages 56

Being a salsa gigolo, I am realizing that I am very much a mammal. Salseras, too, are very much mammals. The closest thing to salsamonogamy is dancing 2 songs in a row with the same partner. But then there was that 1 salsera, with whom I could have danced all my dances. A bittersweet salsera memory.

Chapter 2: The Dating Animal, Part II, Page 92:
“… the irony is that monogamy tends to benefit most men and hurt most women. One economist has even called anti-polygamy laws a kind of male cartel undermining women’s bargaining ability. On the other hand, polygamy benefits most women and hurts most men … Women might initially scoff at this idea, but if you presented them with a choice of between being Brad Pitt’s second wife or Homer Simpson’s first wife, I think we know which one most of them would choose.” …

Chapter 2: The Dating Animal, Part II, Page 92

I’ve never before looked at salsapolygamy this way. Would an Angelina Jolie salsera be happy being salsamonogamous to a Brad Pitt salsa gigolo? Probably. Would a Marge Simpson salsera be happy being the 2nd or 3rd or nth salsawife of a Brad Pitt salsa gigolo? Maybe 2nd or 3rd, but probably not nth, because once you get to nth, the number of dances would approach zero, but then again, she might be more than happy being the 2nd or 3rd salsawife of a Keanu Reeves salsa gigolo. She might be happier still being free and single, and dancing the night away with one Homer Simpson salsa gigolo after another.

Inside the heart of every Homer Simpson salsa gigolo, beats the clave of desire to become a Brad Pitt salsa gigolo, to be able to call all the salseras to the dance. Inside the heart of every Marge Simpson salsera, flows the montuno of salsamonogamy to become an Angelina Jolie salsera, to be able to tie-down a Brad Pitt salsa gigolo she can call all her own.

Chapter 3: The Dating Culture, Page 105:
… “I’m not advocating a return to arranged marriages. I’m still a fan, albeit a critical one, of romantic love. But I do think that arranged marriages have a valuable lesson to teach all of us consumers … In looking for love, the time has come for us to learn to be satisficers, not maximizers. That does not necessarily mean settling, but it does mean giving up on the idea of “the one.” When you find someone you think will make you happy, you stop looking, even though there might be someone better out there. Don’t feel that you have to sample every flavor, to chase every opportunity …”

Chapter 3: The Dating Culture, Page 105

Imagine if salsa were like an arranged marriage: you show up to a beginner salsa class, and you’re paired-up with someone who would be your dance partner for the rest of your salsa life. I suspect that not everyone would turn out to be winners in this salsa lottery. Some of our partners would go on to become Brad Pitt salsa gigolos and Angelina Jolie salseras. Some of our partners would quit dancing. Some of us would give in to our mammalian ways.

Come to think of it, it wouldn’t hurt for a marriage to be like salsa. Always trying to learn something new to keep your partner interested. Always trying to improve your connection. Taking lots and lots of lessons early on. Dancing with your heart and soul.

Chapter 4: The Dating Game, Page 159:
“… it all boiled down to one simple rule: try a dozen (Cresswell dubbed this the twelve-bonk rule, bonk being a British word for . . . well, I’m sure we all know what bonk means). Todd and Miller found that this number provided excellent results no matter how large the sample size …”

Chapter 4: The Dating Game, Page 159

To find a salsa partner who is among the top x% of available partners for you, the inferred advice is to dance with 12 people, and then choose the next person who comes along, who is better than those first 12. Well, I’m sure we’re ALL past 12 already, so the new RULE is to choose the next person who comes along who blows you away. Dance with this person for the rest of your life.

Chapter 5: The Dating Dance, Page 170-171:
“… A menstruating lap dancer made on average thirty-five dollars an hour, and a woman who was neither ovulating nor menstruating averaged fifty dollars. During their fertile periods, though, lap dancers were like Bathsheba on ecstasy, averaging a whopping seventy dollars an hour … lap dancers on the pill averaged only thirty-seven dollars an hour (hardly different from menstruating women), while women not on the pill averaged fifty-three dollars …”

Chapter 5: The Dating Dance, Page 170-171

Salseras, here’s a secret weapon for you: to get the best response from a salsa gigolo, make sure you’re ovulating. Better yet, give him a lap dance.
Salsa Gigolometer 70


2 Responses to “Decoding Salsa Love.”

  1. swati June 21, 2010 at 11:07 am #

    fun reading this post :-))

  2. salsagigolo June 21, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

    I’m glad you like :).

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