Tanguera Gigalera.

15 Jan

The following references are from:

by Marina Palmer ».

This memoir reads like a blog that a tango gigolo would write, about his sex conquests, except it’s written by a woman. Sandra Bullock owns the movie rights, so keep your eyes out for, “Miss Congeniality 3: Kiss & Tango”, Rated NC-17. But why stop at one? Also watch for: “Legally Blonde 3: Kiss & Tango”, starring Reese Witherspoon. I’d watch both movies.

April 26, 1997, Page 46:
“… To think that out there in the real world, one can wait in vain one’s whole life for love at first sight, while in here, it happens all the time. Also, I’m starting to notice a trend: The freakier the partner, the more likely you are to love dancing with him. Here I was once again connecting perfectly with someone who was a far, FAR cry from my physical ideal. How was I supposed to explain that I was currently swooning in the arms of someone I wouldn’t normally have touched with a ten-foot pole? Someone old enough to be my father? …”

April 26, 1997, Page 46

What comes first, the connection or the freakiness? With increased skill, there is increased license to become freaky? The freakier one is, the more likely one is to become skilled? This ‘Beauty and the Beast’ duality also exists in salsa. And where the salsera, and I suspect also the tanguera, is a novice, she will be the prey — the fresh meet, ever so prime to succumb to the beast.

April 25, 2000, Page 176:
… “You know how difficult it is to resist a forbidden fruit? Well, imagine how difficult it is to resist a fruit that is forbidden not once, but four times over.

To make things even more difficult, we’re not talking about a fruit that is sitting quietly on its tree, minding its own business. We’re talking about a fruit that is begging to be plucked, a fruit that is literally crying out: “Eat me! Eat me!” A fruit that uses every trick in the book to tempt the weak girl that I am: breathing into my ear and down my neck, when it is not moaning; squeezing me so tight that my tits hurt; and generally oozing testosterone from every pore as it presses its groin against mine. …”

April 25, 2000, Page 176

After 3 years, the prey has clearly become the predator. The author’s description of forbidden » fruit is just beautiful, and her dilemma goes to the heart of the near impossibility of salsamonogamy.

April 8, 2001, Page 264:
“… Men dance for one reason: to get women into bed — or at the very least, to pretend to want to get women into bed. And the better the dancer, the more likely the success. …”

April 8, 2001, Page 264

Isn’t this the truth about men who dance? This passage would be even truer if the words “many”, “several different” or “a variety of”, were strategically inserted into the above.

There are other ‘truths’ and off-colour jokes in this blog-like memoir, which has managed to put-off or offend nearly the entire tanguera blogosphere. The prose is also kind of chunky. For this reason, I would recommend waiting for the movie, unless you’re a salsa gigolo, who likes to read about a tanguera’s sex conquests. Then go ahead, dig right in!
Salsa Gigolometer 100

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