Battle Hymn Of The Salsa Gigolo.

11 Jan

The following references are from:
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
by Amy Chua ».

A humourous early memoir of a high-achieving mother (and father) raising their two high-achieving daughters, who may or may not dance salsa.

Part One, Chapter 6: The Virtuous Circle, Page 29:
“… What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice, is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something — whether it’s math, piano, pitching or ballet — he or she gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more. …”

Part One, Chapter 6: The Virtuous Circle, Page 29

I recall Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘10,000-Hour Rule’ »: 20 hours of practice a week for 10 years, will go a long way to achieving mastery. Thus, 20 hours of supervising said practice a week for 10 years, will go a long way to achieving mastery of supervising said practice.

As parenting is a 24-hour job, there are 8,760 parenting hours available in a year. By the end of the first year, a parent will achieve near mastery of being a parent to a 0-1 year old. A large portion of those hours can be carried forward to being a parent to a 1-2 year old. By the end of the second year, a parent will achieve near mastery of being a parent to a 1-2 year old, and will likely be ahead of where they were a year ago.

Part One, Chapter 12: The Cadenza, Page 65:
“… So I was in a cranky mood that day, trying to figure out which architect to hire — and how to make sure it wasn’t the parent of another student — when Lulu sighed again, more deeply.

“My friend Maya is so lucky,” she said wistfully. “She has so many pets. Two parrots, a dog, and a goldfish.”

I didn’t reply. I’d been through this many times with Sophia.

“And two guinea pigs.”

“Maybe that’s why she’s only in Book One of violin,” I said. “Because she’s too busy taking care of pets.”

“I wish I had a pet.”

“You already have a pet,” I snapped. “Your violin is your pet.” …”

Part One, Chapter 12: The Cadenza, Page 65

As a child gets older, the freedoms and choices available to the child expand, and parenting becomes more complex. There must be a point when the portion of accumulated hours of parenting experience that can be carried forward starts to decrease. Then there must be a point where it seems like all the accumulated hours of parenting experience doesn’t seem to help.

Here, I recall DRiVE », and how Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose can lead to self-motivation. It seems that Mastery can be drilled at an early age, but somewhere along the way, Autonomy and Purpose need to be introduced to the mix. A parent, who was a master at drilling Mastery, becomes a parent, who is a master at fostering Autonomy and Purpose. A child that was primarily externally-motivated becomes a child that is primarily internally-motivated.

Coda, Pages 224-225:
“… “Oh, no!” Lulu cried out once. “Am I supposed to be Pushkin, the dumb one? And Sophia is Coco, who’s smart and learns everything?” I pointed out that Coco wasn’t smart and couldn’t learn anything either. I assured the girls that the dogs weren’t supposed to be metaphors for them.

“So what purpose are they serving?” Sophia asked, ever logical. “Why are they in the book?”

“I don’t know yet,” I admitted. “But I know they’re important. There’s something inherently unstable about a Chinese mother raising dogs.” …”

Coda, Pages 224-225

How does any of this relate to salsa or being a salsa gigolo? I’m not exactly sure, but it may have to do with the order of things one may expect to learn: First comes Mastery, then comes Autonomy and Purpose? Or it may have something to do with the order of things to be taught: First drill Mastery, then foster Autonomy and Purpose?

Perhaps novice salsa gigolos and salseras, who have already achieved Mastery in some aspect of their lives, need less external motivation, and the early fostering of Autonomy and Purpose will help them develop internal motivation to pursue the drills that will help them achieve Mastery in salsa. Perhaps novice salsa gigolos and salseras, who are very young or who have yet to achieve Mastery in some aspect of their lives, need more external motivation initially, before the fostering of Autonomy and Purpose will be effective. In other words: Turn patterns for everyone.
Salsa Gigolometer 100

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