He: Understanding Salsa Gigolo Psychology.

8 Feb

The following references are from:
He:  Understanding Masculine Psychology
by Robert A. Johnson ».

A book about what makes a man tick, from a Jungian perspective.

Chapter 4: The Grail Castle, Pages 49-50:
“… There are six basic relationships a man bears to the feminine world. All six are useful to him and each has its own nobility. It is only the contamination of one with another that makes difficulty. These difficulties are central to a man’s passage through life. The six feminine elements of a man are:

* His human mother. This is the actual woman who was his mother, she with all her idiosyncrasies, individual characteristics, and uniqueness.
* His mother complex. This resides entirely inside the man himself. This is his regressive capacity which would like to return to a dependency on his mother and be the child again. This is a man’s wish to fail, his defeatist capacity, his subterranean fascination with death or accident, his demand to be taken care of. This is pure poison in a man’s psychology.
* His mother archetype. If the mother complex is pure poison, the mother archetype is pure gold. It is the feminine half of God, the cornucopia of the universe, mother nature, the bounty which is freely poured out to us without fail. We could not live for one minute without the bounty of the mother archetype. It is always reliable, nourishing, sustaining.
* His fair maiden. This is the feminine component in every man’s psychic structure and is the interior companion or inspirer of his life, the fair damsel. It is Blanche Fleur, one’s lady fair, Dulcinea in
Don Quixote, Beatrice to Dante in the Comedia Divina. It is she who gives meaning and color to one’s life. Dr. Jung named this quality the anima, she who animates and brings life.
* His wife or partner. This is the flesh and blood companion who shares his life journey and is a human companion.
* Sophia. This is the Goddess of Wisdom, the feminine half of God, the Shekinah in Jewish mysticism. It comes as a shock to a man to discover that Wisdom is feminine, but all mythologies have portrayed it so. …”

Chapter 4: The Grail Castle, Pages 49-50

In salsa, a salsa gigolo bares his ego and his id, for all to see. Perhaps too, his mother complex and his fair maiden. A salsa gigolo may ‘black list’ a salsera, who does not take care of him and his ego, does not cater to his mother complex. Or a salsa gigolo may put a salsera up on a pedestal, she who brings to life the dance he envisions possible, she who can cater to his ideal for the dance, the dance being his fair maiden.

Chapter 7: The Long Quest, Pages 79, 81-82:
“… “The object of life is not happiness, but to serve God or the Grail. All of the Grail quests are to serve God. If one understands this and drops his idiotic notion that the meaning of life is personal happiness, then one will find that elusive quality immediately at hand. …

… A Frenchman, Alexis de Tocqueville, came to America more than a century ago and made some astute observations about the American way. He said that we have a misleading idea at the very head of our Constitution: the pursuit of happiness. One can not pursue happiness; if he does he obscures it. If he will proceed with the human task of life, the relocation of the center of gravity of the personality to something greater outside itself, happiness will be the outcome. …”

Chapter 7: The Long Quest, Pages 79, 81-82

In a social salsa dance, the quest for the salsa gigolo and salsera is to find the dance that is possible for them, for that one song. We do not dance to pursue happiness. We dance to find the best dance that is possible, and in finding this dance together, we are satisfied and happy.

Social Salsa Dance Constraints:
salsa gigolo – physical, mental, emotional, skill, rhythm
salsera – physical, mental, emotional, skill, rhythm
dancefloor – sticky, slippery, spacious, crowded
room – large, small, lighting, heating, ventilation, air conditioning
music – song selection, volume, tone, clarity
other dancers – physical, mental, emotional, skill, rhythm

I still remember the night when the dancefloor was empty, the room was large and beautiful, and I was dancing with a cute, responsive and creative salsera, who made anything possible. The DJ kept feeding us the music, song after song, as if it was just for us, and I suppose it was, since we couldn’t stop dancing. The salsera apologized to me mid-dances that she had a boyfriend, but then later asked me, “Is it just for the dance, or is it more?” I had to think for a second, and then laughed and admitted it was just for the dance. She turned and walked away, probably putting me on her ‘black-list’.

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