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Dope Dog.

11 Aug

By George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic »:

Live spoken word version:

Salsa Gigolometer 100


Salsa America: How To Make Salsa Great Again.

5 Aug

The following references are from:
Crippled America:  How To Make America Great Again
by Donald J. Trump ».

A salsa policy book by the 2016 GOP nominee.

Chapter 4: Foreign Policy: Fighting For Peace, Page 31:
The career diplomats who got us into many foreign policy messes say I have no experience in foreign policy. They think that successful diplomacy requires years of experience and an understanding of all the nuances that have to be carefully considered before reaching a conclusion. Only then do these pinstriped bureaucrats
consider taking action.

Look at the state of the world right now. It’s a terrible mess, and that’s putting it kindly. …”

Chapter 4: Foreign Policy: Fighting For Peace, Page 31

I think the World would be a better place if everyone danced salsa, or were at least allowed the freedom to dance salsa if they wanted to. Of course, I’d support a US foreign policy based on salsa dancing, because Canada would follow. The future US President might ask himself/ herself, “Would this intervention improve salsa in America? Would this regime change improve salsa in the World?”

Chapter 10: Lucky To Be An American, Page 107:
Las Vegas Review-Journal summed it up correctly in 2014, saying, ‘The Department of Veterans Affairs finally is under intense scrutiny for its bogus waiting lists and the unconscionable treatment delays that have caused an untold number of preventable patient deaths. But new information shows that malfeasance, malpractice, and outright corruption within the VA is worse than Americans could have imagined — much worse.’

That needs to end. Right now the VA is run by people who don’t know what they’re doing. They’re getting more money from the government than ever before and yet the care gets worse. The list of men and women waiting for care is growing and their wait times are longer. How can the VA possibly be so inefficient? We need to put people in charge who know how to run big operations. We have to get the best managers and give them the power, the money, and the tools to get the job done. We owe our veterans nothing less.

One way or another, we are going to take care of our veterans. If the VA hospitals can’t do the job, then the veterans go to private doctors, private hospitals. The government will reimburse those doctors and those hospitals because we must fulfill our obligation to our veterans. …”

Chapter 10: Lucky To Be An American, Page 107

That’s not to say that the current salsa world is all bad. We should thank and honour our salsa veterans for bringing us forth into the current salsa world. I’m sure there are salsa gigolos and salseras in the World, who risk their lives when they go out to dance. If all the women in the World danced salsa, would all the men drop their arms and sign-up for salsa lessons?

Chapter 16: A Tax Code That Works, Pages 153-154:
The first goal of the plan will be to provide tax relief. If you are single and earning less than $25,000 or married and earning less than $50,000, you will not owe any income tax. This will immediately remove some nearly 75 million households from the income tax rolls.

Second, the tax code will be simplified. Instead of multiple tax brackets with multiple variations, there will be only four brackets: 0%, 10%, 20%, and 25%. This new code eliminates the marriage penalty and the Alternative Minimum Tax while providing the lowest tax rates since before World War II. Further, this plan eliminates the death tax, thus allowing families to keep what has been earned.

The proposed policies will allow the middle class to keep most of their deductions while eliminating many of the deductions for the very rich. With more money in middle-class pockets, consumer spending will increase, college savings will grow, and personal debt will decline.

Third, we need to grow the American economy. For the past seven years our economy has been at a virtual standstill. Growth in the Gross Domestic Product of less than 2 percent per year is pathetic. We need to spur production, bring home jobs, and make it easier to invest in America.

The plan states that any business of any size will pay no more than 15 percent of their business income in taxes. This low rate will make corporate inversions unnecessary and will make America one of the most competitive markets in the world. This plan will also require companies with off-shore capital to bring that money back to the United States at a repatriation rate of only 10 percent. Right now that money is not being brought back because the tax rate is so high.

Finally, this plan will not add to our deficits or our national debt. With disciplined budget management and elimination of waste, fraud, and abuse, this plan will allow us to balance the budget, grow the economy at record levels, clear the backlog of workers sitting at home, and begin the process of reducing our debt. With moderate growth, this plan will be revenue neutral. These changes will ensure huge economic growth, and this country will be on the road to extraordinary prosperity. …”

Chapter 16: A Tax Code That Works, Pages 153-154

If everyone in the World danced salsa, I wonder what would be the optimal size and number of public dance halls, to accommodate all the dancers? For Canada, it’d probably be the same size and number as our skating rinks and swimming pools. Imagine a salsa room, a bachata room, a kizomba room, a skating room, and a swimming room … and a steam room, and a hot tub room, and a LGBT shower room.

Go ahead and build a big beautiful public salsa room with our tax dollars, or better yet, make Mexico pay for it, and don’t let anyone in, who isn’t willing to go through beginner’s hell. MSGA

Canadian Salsa Gigolos For Donald Trump.

1 Mar

As a Canadian salsa gigolo, I don’t usually follow US politics, but the GOP primaries » are on fiyah. After watching the GOP debates on YouTube, and now that Super Tuesday’s almost over, I’m going to predict that Donald Trump will carry the day. On behalf of all Canadian salsa gigolos, for whom I don’t speak, I hereby unofficially endorse Donald Trump for GOP nominee 2016. This is based on the single criterion of …

Who would you most want to see in a salsa club?

Donald TrumpDonald Trump – Yeah, he really wants to build that wall and have Mexico pay for it, and it just got 10 feet higher, and he had that spat with Telemundo, but all he needs to do is bring a few Miss Universe contestants to your local salsa social, and he’d carry the salsa gigolo vote easy. Heck, he could just show up with family. Oh, and did you see what he did when Ben Carson fumbled that entry a couple debates ago? Donald Trump waited with Ben Carson. Such a subtle, classy move.

Ben CarsonBen Carson – Always good to have a neurosurgeon in the house. Also, the next best thing to having a good dance is watching a good dance, and if Ben Carson dances like he speaks, he’s gonna’ be one smooth dancer. Probably wouldn’t step on your feet, either. And if you happened to step on his feet, he probably wouldn’t get too bent out of shape about it. Heck, I bet he wants people to step on his feet, just so he can have a chance to speak.

Marco RubioMarco Rubio – Maybe he has salsa in his blood, maybe not. But that one debate, where he was skewered by Christie for repeating himself, makes me think that Marco Rubio would be a turn-pattern … umm … enthusiast. Nothing wrong with that. Just needs a few more years to find his own style, and to get smooth – No one can do Donald like Donald. Also nothing wrong with sweating. That’s what salsa towels are for. Or maybe need less salsa in blood.

Ted CruzTed Cruz – Something about Ted Cruz reminds me of Humphrey Bogart, and if he quacks like a duck, he’ll most likely Bogart the cutest salsera in the club for multiple dances, if not for the whole night. At least he’s married. Can’t see him making friends with fellow salsa gigolos, though. I’d vote Ted Cruz as most likely to do the pachanga during a social salsa dance, with two tone shoes.

John KasichJohn Kasich – He seems like a nice enough guy. But he’s from Ohio. Sorry, I take that back. I just Googled, and it looks like there’s some good salsa in Ohio. Don’t drink the tap water though, if there’s any fracking happening nearby. Really though, John Kasich may be too nice for salsa. Then again, someone has to dance with the trophic level 1.0 salseras. Donald knows what I mean.

Your Vote Costs $20. Your Vote Is Worth $1.95.

5 Oct

What does your vote cost?
According to Elections Canada », out of 23M eligible voters, 14.9M Canadians actually voted in the 2006 federal election. The total population in Canada was about 30M men, women, and salsa gigolos. According to an article by Sun Media », the 2006 federal election cost $278M. Or, to put it another way, in 2006, the federal election cost about $20 per voter.

What is your vote worth?
From the same Sun Media article, it is mentioned that each political party gets an annual payment for every vote it gets. In 2006, each vote was worth $1.75. This will rise to $1.95 for 2008.

Who gets your vote and your money?
Being a salsa gigolo is very time consuming, and one could get mired in hours of non-salsa reading and and non-salsa thinking, in trying to be an expert on all the issues. The Economy. The War in Afghanistan. Healthcare. Pffpt!

Since there has been no open debate on salsa this year, I am using the following high-level approach to decide who to vote for. Imagine each of the candidates coming up to you in a salsa club, and asking you for $1.95:

Who would get your toonie?
Who wouldn’t get your toonie?
Who would you least expect to see in a salsa club?

Vote For Environment
Now, if you really want to vote on an issue, and that issue happens to be the Environment, you may be interested in Vote for Environment ».

If that’s too anti-Conservative for you, and you need more information before deciding who you would least expect to see in a salsa club, watch the Canadian Federal Election Debate 2008: