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20 Jan

By Fania All-Stars »:

Salsa Gigolometer 100


Fifty Shades Of Salsa Gigolo.

20 Jan

The following references are from:
Fifty Shades of Grey
by E.L. James ».

This book is about a Dominant, who initiates his submissive.

Chapter Four, Pages 63-64
“… He Takes my hand once more. Holy cow — he’s leading me onto the dance floor. Shit. I do not dance. He can sense my reluctance, and under the colored lights I see his amused, sardonic smile. He gives my hand a sharp tug, and I’m in his arms, and he starts to move, taking me with him. Boy, he can dance, and I can’t believe that I’m following him step for step. Maybe it’s because I’m drunk that I can keep up. He’s holding me tight against him, his body against mine . . . if he wasn’t clutching me so tightly, I’m sure I would swoon at his feet. In the back of my mind, my mother’s often-recited warning comes to me: Never trust a man who can dance. …”

Chapter Four, Pages 63-64

Oh, that reluctance. I love that reluctance. It’s always intriguing to see what is possible with a salsera ingenue in our first dance. Will one dance be enough, or will I want more? Will she want more?

Chapter Seven, Page 101
“… “So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.”

“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy — it’s a very simple equation.”

“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”

He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.

“Me,” he says simply. …”

Chapter Seven, Page 101

I crave that feeling of taking a salsera ingenue up to her limits, and then some. I am willing to take risks, to see what kind of dance is possible for us. I am willing to make mistakes, and ask for forgiveness later.

Chapter Sixteen, Pages 287-288
“… “It’s the way I’m made, Anastasia. I need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way, and if you don’t — I love to watch your beautiful alabaster skin pink and warm up under my hands. It turns me on.”

Holy shit. Now we’re getting somewhere.

“So it’s not the pain you’re putting me through?”

He swallows.

“A bit, to see if you can take it, but that’s not the whole reason. It’s the fact that you are mine to do with as I see fit — ultimate control over someone else. And it turns me on. Big time, Anastasia. Look, I’m not explaining myself very well . . . I’ve never had to before. I’ve not really thought about this in any great depth. I’ve always been with like-minded people.” He shrugs apologetically. “And you still haven’t answered my question — how did you feel afterward?”


“You were sexually aroused by it, Anastasia.” …”

Chapter Sixteen, Pages 287-288

When I sense a salsera ingenue’s complete submission, her desire for me to take charge, I don’t say a word and just take. No politically-correct salsa for me. I like my salsa raw. The dance is for me, and she is there for my pleasure. Salsa Gigolo First.
Salsa Gigolometer 100

Gray Matters.

16 Jan

Gray Matters

Gray Matters (2006) – 93/100 – A sapphic salsera ingenue is tempted by forbidden fruit.

Some of my favourite actors in this movie:

Heather GrahamHeather Graham – Sapphic salsera ingenue.

Bridget MoynahanBridget Moynahan – Forbidden fruit.


Cinematography – 9/10
Story – 9/10
Pacing – 9/10
Action and Dialogue – 9/10
Impact – 9/10
Characters – 9/10
Originality – 10/10

Music – 10/10
Salsa/ Dance – 8/10
Makes you want to be a salsera in a sapphic love triangle – 11/10

Total – 93/100

Un Montón De Estrellas.

13 Aug

By Polo Montañez »:
Bachata version by Ivan Venot »:

The Lost City.

13 Aug

The Lost City

The Lost City (2005) – 90/100 – A nightclub owner in Cuba loses love and family during the revolution.

Some of my favourite actors in this movie:
Andy GarciaAndy Garcia – Nightclub owner.

Inés SastreInés Sastre – Forbidden fruit.

Bill MurrayBill Murray – Surprising and kooky cameo.

Dustin HoffmanDustin Hoffman – Surprising, slightly less kooky cameo.


Cinematography – 9/10
Story – 9/10
Pacing – 9/10
Action and Dialogue – 9/10
Impact – 8/10
Characters – 9/10
Originality – 10/10

Music – 10/10
Salsa/ Dance – 10/10
Makes you want to be a salsa gigolo – 7/10

Total – 90/100

Salsa America: How To Make Salsa Great Again.

5 Aug

The following references are from:
Crippled America:  How To Make America Great Again
by Donald J. Trump ».

A salsa policy book by the 2016 GOP nominee.

Chapter 4: Foreign Policy: Fighting For Peace, Page 31:
The career diplomats who got us into many foreign policy messes say I have no experience in foreign policy. They think that successful diplomacy requires years of experience and an understanding of all the nuances that have to be carefully considered before reaching a conclusion. Only then do these pinstriped bureaucrats
consider taking action.

Look at the state of the world right now. It’s a terrible mess, and that’s putting it kindly. …”

Chapter 4: Foreign Policy: Fighting For Peace, Page 31

I think the World would be a better place if everyone danced salsa, or were at least allowed the freedom to dance salsa if they wanted to. Of course, I’d support a US foreign policy based on salsa dancing, because Canada would follow. The future US President might ask himself/ herself, “Would this intervention improve salsa in America? Would this regime change improve salsa in the World?”

Chapter 10: Lucky To Be An American, Page 107:
Las Vegas Review-Journal summed it up correctly in 2014, saying, ‘The Department of Veterans Affairs finally is under intense scrutiny for its bogus waiting lists and the unconscionable treatment delays that have caused an untold number of preventable patient deaths. But new information shows that malfeasance, malpractice, and outright corruption within the VA is worse than Americans could have imagined — much worse.’

That needs to end. Right now the VA is run by people who don’t know what they’re doing. They’re getting more money from the government than ever before and yet the care gets worse. The list of men and women waiting for care is growing and their wait times are longer. How can the VA possibly be so inefficient? We need to put people in charge who know how to run big operations. We have to get the best managers and give them the power, the money, and the tools to get the job done. We owe our veterans nothing less.

One way or another, we are going to take care of our veterans. If the VA hospitals can’t do the job, then the veterans go to private doctors, private hospitals. The government will reimburse those doctors and those hospitals because we must fulfill our obligation to our veterans. …”

Chapter 10: Lucky To Be An American, Page 107

That’s not to say that the current salsa world is all bad. We should thank and honour our salsa veterans for bringing us forth into the current salsa world. I’m sure there are salsa gigolos and salseras in the World, who risk their lives when they go out to dance. If all the women in the World danced salsa, would all the men drop their arms and sign-up for salsa lessons?

Chapter 16: A Tax Code That Works, Pages 153-154:
The first goal of the plan will be to provide tax relief. If you are single and earning less than $25,000 or married and earning less than $50,000, you will not owe any income tax. This will immediately remove some nearly 75 million households from the income tax rolls.

Second, the tax code will be simplified. Instead of multiple tax brackets with multiple variations, there will be only four brackets: 0%, 10%, 20%, and 25%. This new code eliminates the marriage penalty and the Alternative Minimum Tax while providing the lowest tax rates since before World War II. Further, this plan eliminates the death tax, thus allowing families to keep what has been earned.

The proposed policies will allow the middle class to keep most of their deductions while eliminating many of the deductions for the very rich. With more money in middle-class pockets, consumer spending will increase, college savings will grow, and personal debt will decline.

Third, we need to grow the American economy. For the past seven years our economy has been at a virtual standstill. Growth in the Gross Domestic Product of less than 2 percent per year is pathetic. We need to spur production, bring home jobs, and make it easier to invest in America.

The plan states that any business of any size will pay no more than 15 percent of their business income in taxes. This low rate will make corporate inversions unnecessary and will make America one of the most competitive markets in the world. This plan will also require companies with off-shore capital to bring that money back to the United States at a repatriation rate of only 10 percent. Right now that money is not being brought back because the tax rate is so high.

Finally, this plan will not add to our deficits or our national debt. With disciplined budget management and elimination of waste, fraud, and abuse, this plan will allow us to balance the budget, grow the economy at record levels, clear the backlog of workers sitting at home, and begin the process of reducing our debt. With moderate growth, this plan will be revenue neutral. These changes will ensure huge economic growth, and this country will be on the road to extraordinary prosperity. …”

Chapter 16: A Tax Code That Works, Pages 153-154

If everyone in the World danced salsa, I wonder what would be the optimal size and number of public dance halls, to accommodate all the dancers? For Canada, it’d probably be the same size and number as our skating rinks and swimming pools. Imagine a salsa room, a bachata room, a kizomba room, a skating room, and a swimming room … and a steam room, and a hot tub room, and a LGBT shower room.

Go ahead and build a big beautiful public salsa room with our tax dollars, or better yet, make Mexico pay for it, and don’t let anyone in, who isn’t willing to go through beginner’s hell. MSGA

Are All Salsa Gigolos Assholes?

1 Jul

The following references are from:
Are All Guys Assholes?
by Amber Madison ».

A relationship self-help book for women.

‘A Fake Reputation Is All a Man Has’: Unlearning ‘Guys’, Pages 25-26:
As Dr. Michael Kimmel concludes in his book
Guyland: “Maculinity is a homosocial experience, performed for, and judged by, other men.” And this is where it all comes full circle. You have a bunch of guys running around feeling like they’re supposed to act like indiscriminate horndogs. They put up this front because if they don’t, they’re afraid they’ll be ridiculed. And the outcome then is that guys actually believe this is how men truly are, because it’s how they’ve seen their peers act their entire lives. Many become convinced that other guys are acting out their authentic feelings when they act like freewheeling sex fiends. So even if a guy knows that he himself does not represent the stereotypical image of a “guy,” he remains thoroughly convinced that the other guys around him do. …”

'A Fake Reputation Is All a Man Has': Unlearning 'Guys', Pages 25-26

When talking with fellow salsa gigolos, we don’t talk about our feelings. Instead, we joke about each other’s displays of horndog-ness, a friendly competition of who’s the greater horndog.

Does He Want Me or ‘The Chase’?: Meeting Guys, Page 51:
Being unwilling to approach a guy means that you never get to choose for yourself — you only get a chance with the guys who were bold enough to approach you. And really, what’s the worst that could happen? He acts uninterested. Or you ask him out and he says no. And then so what? Your heart explodes out of your eyeballs? The world blows up? Life as we know it gets eradicated? No. You shrug him off, have a greater appreciation for how guys feel when you’ve rejected them, and move on to someone else. Being turned down (especially if it’s by a stranger) just isn’t that horrific. Guys’ advances get blown off all the time, and they still live to tell about it. I think that we’re strong enough to endure the same “suffering.”

A guy once told me, “Meeting girls is 80% effort. It’s not about being amazing-looking, or the coolest and most interesting guy in the bar, it’s about putting yourself out there, realizing you’re going to get rejected a lot, but continuing to go for it anyway.” This approach works for us too. In my experience, it’s the girls who aren’t afraid to go for it who end of getting the most (and best) guys. …”

Does He Want Me or 'The Chase'?: Meeting Guys, Page 51

And I’m sorry, but sometimes we joke about who we want to dance with, and who we don’t want to dance with. I find it particularly funny when a fellow salsa gigolo’s trying to not make it obvious that he’s dating a salsera … by not asking her to dance. Generally, I don’t like to dance with other salsa gigolos’ wives or girlfriends. Let them do their own work.

In terms of asshole-like behaviour, I’m probably most guilty of not asking salseras to dance. And it’s not just about not asking, but it’s also about avoiding being asked. Averting eye contact is good. Standing near an exit or washroom is good. If a salsera sneaks-up and manages to start a conversation, but doesn’t ask for a dance, then no dance.

Kissing Assholes Good-bye: How to Identify One, Break Free, or Get One to Change His Tune, Page 221:
Because so many guys are convinced that being “too nice” will make you lose interest, it’s important to be able to distinguish an impostor asshole from a real one. An impostor asshole is a guy who plays it cool and acts like he’s not blown away by you even when he is. He doesn’t return your calls right away (though returns them eventually), sends you some short text messages, give you “two compliments and one ‘neg'” (a playful insult), and acts only mildly interested. Basically, if you’ve just started dating a guy who’s actively trying to see you but acting a bit aloof, that’s an impostor asshole.

A real asshole is a guy who doesn’t want to do anything with you that doesn’t take place in his bed or on his couch, even though you want something more. He’s a guy who only calls you when he’s drunk. He’s the guy you’re really into, have been seeing for months, but won’t let the relationship progress or won’t fully commit. …”

Kissing Assholes Good-bye: How to Identify One, Break Free, or Get One to Change His Tune, Page 221

The truth is, I may want to dance with a particular salsera only once on any given day. And sometimes only once, ever. Salsa friends? Fuhgeddaboutit. Grindchata friends? I might consider it.